WHAT SHALL BIYA TELL THE NATION?

WHAT SHALL BIYA TELL THE NATION? Tonight at 8pm, President Paul Biya is expected to address the nation in the traditional Head of State`s message to the Cameroonian nation. Usually, the president uses the occasion to look back at the year just ended and then do a projection on the year about to begin. One aspect he will mention is the triple elections that took place in 2013. They are the Council, parliamentary and Senate elections. Obviously, the president will say that the elections went well. But, he should look at the way his party, the CPDM, flashed money around in order to obtain votes. Despite the elections, Cameroon is still a long way from its objective of decentralization. The country still depends too heavily on Yaounde the national capital, because so far only a semblance of power has been devolved to the local communities. The president should give Cameroonians a reason for not traveling to Buea as promised to celebrate fifty years of reunification. This trip was announced over a year ago. At one point he said the trip would take place by the ends of 2013. There are other “failed” projects which Biya is expected to explain. One is the Kumba-Mamfe road project. People traveling to Mamfe from Yaounde, Doula and Bafoussam are obliged to go up to Balmenda and then through Bali, Batibo and Widikum. Because of the impending arrival, the University of Buea has put on hold some of its scheduled programmes such as graduation of students. Also, the president may have to comment on the civil unrest that took place at the university some months ago with students going on the rampage. In the event, some were taken to court and jailed. They wrote a letter of complaint to the president. Apart from that, the Vice Chancellor of the University, Prof. Nalova Lyonga must personally be greatly looking forward to the visit because if it happens she will be shaking hands with the president for the first time after her appointment as Vice Chancellor. The president is expected to reassure Cameroonians that henceforth they will not be penalized and humiliated by any more power cuts and temperamental water supply. How he does that is his own burden. He should have an encouraging word for Cameroonians in the Diaspora who generally would like to contribute to nation building but are not encouraged by the way in which the country is run.

HOW WE FOUGHT FOR JESUS By Tikum Mbah Azonga We shot him down. Yes we brought the rogue down For what he did was unpardonable He tore up the giant poster of Jesus into smithereens Then lit a match and burned it up. Next he gathered the dust Stuffed it in an envelope Which he promptly posted to the Bishop With the hand written message: After all, did Jesus himself not have The fallen bits of bread picked up in twelve baskets? We watched him all this while But wouldn`t move Because we were shell shocked Before he left, he turned round and dared us: “You saw it all I did it Yes, I did it If you care, go and tell the President of the Republic!” We couldn’t stand it We were revolted How reprehensible! His persecution His profanity His sacrilege His blasphemy His heresy His irreverence His provocation His insults So we shot him down Yes, we put him down

LIES ABOUT FRUN NDI AND BIYA

THE LIES AGAINST FRU NDI AND BIYA By Tikum Mbah Azonga He hid his ugly claws And only bared them Like some rotten fangs When the lid was lifted. He wouldn’t`t speak before The coward he is! Today and with no shame He rises in the crowd And claims he and he alone Built the Chairman`s Ntarinkon residence And again, singlehanded laid the foundation stone For Biya`s Mvomeka palace.

THE BURDEN THAT GRACA MACHEL MANDELA CARRIES

THE BURDEN THAT GRACA MACHEL MANDELA CARRIES By Tikum Mbah Azonga I would be surprised if at the time Graça Machel got married to South African President Nelson Mandela, she did not know that she was venturing into troubled waters. Graca got married to Mozambique’s President in 1975, and in 1986 her husband died in a plane crash. Machel and Mandela had both been friends and freedom fighters, each for his own country, before becoming presidents. Graça`s decision to remarry was from the very outset bound to be controversial, especially as it would appear she and Samora were never divorced. Even so, Graça chose to remarry and fell for Nelson Mandela of all people. By that time Mandela had been married and got divorced from another woman, Evelyne Mase after she accused him of adultery. When Nelson got married to Graça, he had also divorced his second wife, Winnie Mandela. By getting married to Mandela, Graça jeopardized her role as Samora`s wife. Graça had two children, a daughter Jozina and a son Malnga for Samora. In addition, she became a step-mother to Machel`s five other children. Mandela came into the marriage with Graça with a child he had with Evelyn and two others he had with Winnie. That means that as Mandela`s legitimate wife and the former wife of Samora, Graça has charge of ten children. They would be more if we include the offspring of Mandela`s late children. The question now is whether Graça as Mrs. Mandela, will move Machel`s seven children into Mandela`s home where she is living. Also, when it comes to memorial services, will she hold them only for Mandela or for both Mandela and Samora Machel? In other words, whose widow is she really? Now that Graça has elected residence in Mandela`s home, will she still be visiting Samora`s estate or has she become totally cut off from Machel and Mozambique, a country where she once held several important posts including that of Minister for Education and Culture? Another problem is that shortly after Mandela`s death, cracks appeared in his family as some people sought to prevent Graca from having access to Mandela`s wealth. So it would appear as though the shelter which Mandela gave her disappeared with Mandela`s demise. Shall she stand the heat?

TANTE ISABELLE (Une femme affectée par le SIDA) PAR TIKUM MBAH AZONGA Son mari est mort Mort du SIDA Alors, Tante Isabelle a un peu perdu la tête Recluse, elle se dit finie «Je n’ai plus rien à espérer Je n’ai aucune raison de vivre. » La mère voisine qui lui parle Lui promet une semaine pour deux Au bord de la Haute Sanaga A condition qu’elle ne vienne pas Avec les photos de son mari Mort du SIDA. Tante Isabelle veut se comparer A la plante croupissante Par ce que, dit-elle : Fréderic était comme ça Il marchait sur les quatre pattes C’est pour ça que je l’adore. Tante Isabelle n’a pas peur du SIDA Par ce que dit-elle : J’en mourrai un jour de toute façon Frédéric en est mort Et je sais que j’en mourrai Il faut aimer le vent Il vous chatouille Et la lune Elle vous caresse C’est comme ça que Frédéric m’aime et me caresse. Tante Isabelle ne se promène plus avec le chien Elle l’accuse de rage Et lui dit : Attends que Frédéric rentre Il te fera mourir Tu mourras du SIDA. Tante Isabelle est dans la rue Elle compte les voitures qui passent Elle dit Frédéric descendra de la prochaine Pourtant, Frédéric n’est jamais venu Et il ne viendra jamais. _________________________________________ NOTA BENE Ce poème est tiré de mon recueil intitulé, SAY NO TO AIDS, une collection de poèmes écrits tantôt en anglais et tantôt en français. L’ouvrage figure dans la liste actuelle des manuels scolaires agréés par le Ministère Camerounais des Enseignements Secondaires. Il s’agit de 4 classes francophones et de sept classes Anglophones.

MALADE DU SIDA

MOI, SIDEEN (Employé malade, objet de discrimination) PAR TIKUM MBAH AZONGA J’ai perdu mon emploi Lorsque le patron a su Que j’étais séropositif Je m’apprêtais à lui en parler A lui dire que j’étais séropositif Mais apparemment, il le savait déjà J’ignore qui le lui avait dit. Il m’a fait venir dans son bureau « Monsieur Kamata, vous ne pouvez plus travailler ici On m’a dit que vous avez le SIDA » - C’est vrai Monsieur le Directeur J’ai le SIDA Mais cela ne m’empêche pas de travailler « Non, vous ne pouvez pas! » - Et pourquoi ? « Par ce que vous allez contaminer les gens. » - Monsieur le Directeur On ne contamine pas comme ça. « Je suis désolé, Monsieur Kamata. Voici votre lettre de désengagement. » C’était il y a six mois J’ai saisi le tribunal Mais le tribunal lui a donné gain de cause Où est donc la justice ? ---------------------------------------- NOTA BENE Ce poème est tiré de mon recueil intitulé, SAY NO TO AIDS, une collection de poèmes écrits tantôt en anglais et tantôt en français. L’ouvrage figure dans la liste des manuels scolaires agréés par le Ministère Camerounais des Enseignements Secondaires depuis 2009. Il s’agit de la 6ème, la 5ème, la 2nde AB et la 2nde chez les Francophones. Pour ce qui est des classes Anglophones, le manuel est en usage en Form 1, Form 2, Form 3, Form 5 en Lower 6th et en Upper 6th.

AN EYEWITNESS ACCOUNT

EYEWITNESS (Recalling the death of an AIDS husband) By Tikum Mbah Azonga That night I knew there was something wrong Adrian spoke little, ate little and drank little His countenance changed and he became brittle Like the china grand pa brought from the war badly rung. As days came and went He was more and more withdrawn “Leave me alone, Agnes, I am a pawn!” Yet I couldn’t understand why he was so rent. Why can my own husband not tell me What exactly the problem is? Even the children, he would not give them the kiss Then one day I found him massaging his knee. What’s the matter, Adrian, my love urchin? Oh nothing! Just a cramp, that’s all Yet I caught him at it again in the hall He looked confused and asked if I was Roseline. Me now Roseline, Adrian? How so? I’m your wife, Agnes So why did he take me for an illness? Why had I become a foe? Some weeks later, Adrian collapsed At the hospital, he was put on drips Months passed, runny stomach, boils on the hips Now better; soon relapsed. Weight loss set in His complexion faded and darkened Then he lost speech …coma and hardened His messed up clothes went in the bin. Three months later, on doctor’s instructions Nurse posted on the ward door: “No visitors.” Adrian’s limbs lost movement, no motivators Days later he died in his sleep without instructions. He had suggested his own epitaph “Here lies a humble servant of the people Half Bantu, half Peuhl Who fought a good fight but went down without staff _________________________________________ NOTA BENE This poem is taken from my book entitled, SAY NOT TO AIDS, a collection of poems some of which are in English and the others in French. This book is currently on the Ministry of Secondary Education official book list for Forms 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Lower 6th and Upper 6th, as well as the Francophone classes, 6ème, 5ème, 2nde and Tle .

JESUS CHRIST ON EASTER DAY

JESUS ON EASTER DAY By Tikum Mbah Azonga I heard the beleaguered swan bird cry out It wasn’t ecstatic joy but excruciating pain And the overcast night sky turned pitch dark That was when the Holy Mother herself paused and yelled And the Lord Jesus turned twice in his grave. Very quickly, the archbishop rose and struck off, the irksome “tout” Then he wrote down: “Is there anyone of us here still without a vein?” A deep guttural voice responded from the dark “No, wait until our Lord resurrects and drunken men begin to rave!”

A HUNDRED KILOMETRES TO NOWHERE

A FUTILE RACE By Tikum Mbah Azonga Did you see the smitten kitten Throw up its own snowballs As if they were hapless little paper tigers? Then, awkwardly, she pressed them down As if they were some wanton swollen pollen Yet, the Parish priest sat there all the time And said nothing Absolutely nothing.

SHOULD WE TOE THE LINE?

PLEASE, TOE THE LINE By Tikum Mbah Azonga We shall have to leave it at that, folks Never mind the gross lipstick It`s all part of the new dispensation So if our sky breaks loose again Take no notice of the broken hips If anyone should ask, Quote them the response of Mugabe`s minister “Let them go to hell a thousand times.”

SWAPPING JOBS IN AMERICA

SWAPPING JOBS IN AMERICA By Tikum Mbah Azonga Flying lessons are nothing, I bet you Unless you make a clean break of things Otherwise, what’s the use of living in Dallas And working in San Antonio? In the history of bands for two Warped songs don’t just top charts like inelastic slings That’s why Steve quit the solace and good job of Las Vegas For a mere ten dollar position in San Diego.

QUESTION TO CAMEROONIANS IN THE USA

QUESTION TO CAMEROONIANS IN THE USA By Tikum Mbah Azonga Imagine that you are a Cameroonian who has settled in America with two of your biological children you succeeded to import from Cameroon without their mother(s). While in America you get married to a White American with whom you also have two children and all six of you live together. At some point, you raise the idea of leaving America and settling in Cameroon. Your two `Cameroonian` children applaud the idea while the two `American` ones and their mother oppose it on the grounds that they prefer to stay in America. What do you do? What are your reasons for that choice? FOOTNOTE In this riddle, I am not targeting anyone in particular.

FROM LUSAKA WITH LOVE

FROM LUSAKA WITH LOVE By Tikum Mbah Azonga It doesn`t matter – does it? – if it`s panel-beaten As long as it glistens and radiates Pull up all the stops if you like But don`t turn a blind eye to Zambia`s tears. Doesn`t Lusaka already look like a raid ridden? Despite the glory that God daily permeates If you dare to fly to Pretoria just for a bike Zambians may term you a bundle of fears.

A PLACE UNDER THE SUN

SEEKING A PLACE UNDER THE SUN By Tikum Mbah Azonga I`m not a thread needle Far from it, I`m a needle thread I don`t pierce I wrap I wrap the world round my little finger I do that sitting on a loan dinghy on the majestic Nile Thinking of nothing but the Sierra Leonian girl with the gap teeth Who lived in Khartoum But thought she lived in Cairo. I`m a needle with a difference Surely not the type through whose eye a camel can go For, frankly, who am I to merit such a threat? I`m the cornerstone the Morcho`s rejected Because they shared a fence with the presidency I mean with Unity Palace – did you doubt it? Today I pitch at their doorway With multiple threads wrapped around the lone needle. We wait for the judge to speak But we know not who will carry the day.

WAKE UP, MTN CAMEROON By Tikum Mbah Azonga Without any doubt, the world as a global village has become an indisputable fact of life. This facility has been brought home to Cameroon by the advent of the mobile telephone era which today sees three mobile telecommunication giants towering over the country’s air space. These are the South African MTN Cameroon, 30 per cent of whose shares are owned by the Cameroonian Broadband Telecom. The other two firms are Orange (French) and the Cameroonian CAMTEL. Generally, all three companies are doing brisk business in Cameroon. MTN, for instance says this of itself (my translation from the French text): “By the 31st of August 2005, MTN Cameroon had over a million active subscribers. To this day, MTN places itself among the five most important firms in Cameroon in terms of turnover and accounts for over 54 per cent of the market shares – a factor which makes MTN the leader of the telephone sector in Cameroon”. Fair enough, but has MTN recently sat back and taken a good look at itself? Despite this impressive track record, it must be said that the company has also shot itself in the foot. It has, knowingly or unknowingly, provoked sighs of disappointment from its users; the reason being that for several months running now, MTN has fallen short of expectations. In fact, of the three mobile telephone providers operating in Cameroon at the moment, MTN has become the lame duck. MTN has become notorious for poor network and bad reception; lines going off, transfers taking long or even not going through at all, customer interrogation services such as message reception or credit amount check have all left a lot to be desired. Can we imagine what an impression such a state of affairs would create on a foreign tourist who has brought his dollars to spend in Cameroon, or the European businessman who is contemplating investing in the country? To salvage the situation its leaders must be honest with themselves, look themselves in the face and do something drastic and urgent. With the announcement of a fourth mobile telecommunication announced for Cameroon, MTN Cameroon really must put its act together, otherwise, the much vaunted slogan of “everywhere you go” trumpeted by the company may soon become “everywhere you go; yes, except with MTN”. FOOTNOTE This article was published on my other blog in February 2012. At the time SET MOBILE was not yet in business.

NIGERIA`S ENTANGLED WEB WITH BOKO HARAM

NIGERIA`S ENTANGLED WEB WITH BOKO HARAM By Tikum Mbah Azonga Nigeria has been shaken. The danger is the fundamentalist sect known as Boko Haram and the evidence is the wide-scale havoc wreaked on the Nigerian people. Today the nation is beleaguered, besieged and estranged. Cameroon Tribune examined the sectarian violence: “initially targeting security forces and their facilities, it was later transformed into indiscriminate attacks on civilians, the United Nations compound in the capital, Abuja, churches and threats to Southerners to leave the largely Moslem north”. For a country that suffered the ravages of a costly civil war in the late 1960s (commonly known as ‘the Biafra War’) the current violence could not have been more untimely. In fact, Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan has described it as being worse than the civil war because today’s enemies are hard to identify. Worse still for Nigeria, a nationwide strike crippled the country for days after trade unions talked people into the streets to protest at government’s withdrawal of petrol subsidies. However, although the Nigerian president has announced a cut on fuel prices, the same can unfortunately not be said for the religious riots. Tough questions for Nigeria Nigeria should ask itself why there is so much unrest between its Muslims and Christians. It should ask itself why Cameroon which also a Muslim and Christian population is on the other hand enjoying unprecedented peace and harmony. The truth is that the political constitution of Nigeria’s ethnic groups is such that they are disparate and alien to each other; and as a result, suspicious of each other. On the other hand, Cameroon’s ethnic groups are despite their heterogeneous nature composite and tolerant. The reason is that for decades the Cameroon government has applied a policy by which civil servants can be posted to any part of the country at any time. In that way Cameroonians easily cohabit. If Nigeria were to give the Cameroonian formula a chance, it might find that therein lies the solution to its longstanding dilemma. FFOTNOTE This piece was first published on my www.tmazonga.wordpress.com a year ago.

HOW PROF. VICTOR ANOMAH NGU WAS SENT PACKING

HOW PROF. VICTOR ANOMAH NGU WAS SENT PACKING Some time ago – and I think it was in 1988 – when Prof Victor Anomah Ngu was in Lonbdon and called my wife and I in Luton to announce his arrival, I left for London with my then two-year old daughter AZI AZONGA to see him. We met him at his hotel. During that visit, Prof put on his stethoscope and while he was simulating an examination of Azi, I used his camera to snap the scene. Prof`s father, Pa Nazarius Ngu, was a renowned photographer and one of the first in Bamenda. In fact when an agro-pastoral show was held in the Grand north some decades ago, Prof. Anomah Ngu was the only minister who to his camera to the event and used it! We chatted about a number of issues including how he was appointed Public Health Minister and how the day he was removed, his junior brother John Niba Ngu was appointed Minister of Agriculture. He gave me his view point. I asked him whether it was true that when someone once asked him why s a minister he had a gendarme behind him, he said the officer was there “to prevent him from escaping” (Lol). He also said it laughing. He said it was untrue. Asked whether he had any embarrassing moments in his political career, he said: “Yes!” This he said was an incident while he was on trip to the USA with the Head of State, Paul Biya. One day some of the very top people at the Presidency who were also in the US and told him the president wanted him to return to Cameroon at once. “Alone?” he asked and the answer was a resounding “yes”. So he packed his bags and headed for the airport. Hardly had he got there than the same people came rushing after him to say the president was looking for him. Prof said he realized that the people had tricked him for selfish reasons. Of course, when he was sent for no one told the president that they had asked him to leave. In order not to rock the boat, he also did not reveal the plan to the president.

WHY I DISAGREE WITH PROF. ABETY ON FRU NDI (PART 1 OF 2)

WHY I DISAGREE WITH PROF. ABETY ON FRU NDI (PART 1 OF 2) In November 2013, I wrote on my blog (www.tmazonga.wordpress.com) « Decisive Francophone Minister, Hesitant Anglophone Ministers» I argued that Francophone ministers are friendly to Cameroon`s main Opposition Leader, John Fru Ndi, while Anglophone ones shy avoid him. Prof. Peter Abety, a former Anglophone Minister wrote and objected to my analysis. Here is my response: Prof Abety said I was “laying unwarranted blame on Anglophone Ministers, as well as giving undue credit to the SDF Chairman”. He says when in government he visited the chairman. But then, since then, how many times has he visited the chairman again? The former minister describes Fru Ndi`s historic (my expression) meeting with President Biya as “belated and certainly from a position of visible weakness.” According to which timetable is it belated? I feel that we should not judge Fru Ndi by the amount of time he took to meet with Paul Biya but rather by the success achieved at the meeting. The resolution of a conflict is by dialoguing. That is what Fru Ndi did with Paul Biya. On that score, Fru Ndi deserves credit because Fru Ndi is the one who went up to Biya. Therefore Fru Ndi approached Biya from a position of “strength”, not “weakness”. Prof. Abety argues that he was part of a (CPDM) delegation that visited Fru Ndi in 1992, led by Prof. Anomah Ngu. According to him, Fru Ndi turned down their advice for dialogue with Biya. He also says Fru Ndi used “words that were not kind to us”. But he does not say what those words were. That aside, did he expect that since the delegation was led by Prof. Anomah Ngu and included himself, the SDF Chairman should just “obey”? However, if the chairman rejected it at the time but later met with Biya, why then not give him the credit for finally doing so? Prof Abety states that “the celebrated South African Bishop Desmond Tutu and other dignitaries also visited the Chairman (…) and tried in vain to convince him to dialogue with the President”. But if Fru Ndi can turn down a proposal from such a celebrity, then should he not be saluted for toughness? ___________________________________________________ FOR THE REST OF THIS STORY (Part 2 of 2), FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/why-i-disagree-with-prof-abety-over-fru_4894.html?showComment=1388342968866#c5834667854205473564

WHY I DISAGREE WITH PROF. ABETY OVER FRU NDI (Part 2 of 2)

WHY I DISAGREE WITH PROF. ABETY OVER FRU NDI (Part 2 of 2) Prof Abety states that “the celebrated South African Bishop Desmond Tutu and other dignitaries also visited the Chairman (…) and tried in vain to convince him to dialogue with the President”. But if Fru Ndi can turn down a proposal from such a celebrity, then should he not be saluted for toughness? The Prof. contends: “As Anglophone elite I am convinced that the whole idea of the SDF, perceived nationwide as an Anglophone party, is a fundamental error.” Here he has got it all wrong because that perception of the SDF was before and no longer now. On the whole, the SDF has successfully established itself as a national rather than a regional party. That is why it has dominated other opposition parties for so long. When I was at CRTV Television, I covered vote counting at the Supreme Court in Yaounde and saw for myself to what extent the SDF had integrated itself in the nation. If you doubt it, look at their work in the National Assembly and since recent times, the Senate. Some years ago, when still with CRTV I was designated as the English Desk journalist to travel with the chairman during his two-week tour of the South Region, I was able to measure the extent of his popularity in a region which is indisputably Paul Biya`s fief. At one point, the chairman asked us journalists whether since we hit the road we had seen any remarkable landmarks along the road. He said those were some of the wrongs he wanted to right in his political career. Prof. Abety mentions realism and urges everyone to belong to the CPDM because it is: “the majority party in Cameroon and that’s where we need to belong if we want to participate in decision making in Cameroon”. By saying that, the Prof. seems to dismiss the SDF as irrelevant. He also reminds me of the CPDM campaign officials who warn Cameroonians that if they do not vote for the CPDM, the government would not extend development to them. Why so? The CPDM needs to go back to the drawing board. The party is beset with problems which undermine its strength.As we approach 2018, the date for the next presidential election, nobody can tell exactly what can happen. Biya may step down before then. He may equally wait until then and step down. The real force behind the CPDM is Biya himself. If he goes naturally or otherwise, the CPDM may be in disarray. If the SDF plays its cards right, it can step in and win the sympathy of the people. Perhaps Prof. Abety and other members of the CPDM should study this possibility very carefully. THE END

THE BOOMERANG CHOICE OF CAMEROONIANS

THE BOOMERANG CHOICE OF CAMEROONIANS When the idea of mobile phones came to Cameroon around twenty years ago, it was at a time when the birth of multi-party politics created dissensions and dichotomies among the people. A good number of people West of the Mungo rejected Orange Cameroon (Mobilis, at first) and opted massively for MTN Cameroon.The reason was that Orange which was heavily French based should be shown the door for allegedly "supporting' Paul Biya whom "the people" did not want. Since MTN was "anglophone" being South African, it was whole-heartedly embraced. Today though, MTN is a big disappointment. It`s serice is sub-standard, to say the least. It is slow and unreliable to the extent that many Cameroonians regret their choice.

IS IT BAFORCHU OR MBU?

I had always thought that the generic name for the Mbu (Baforchu) family which consists of Mbu, Santa Mbei, Baforkum, Baba II, Banjah, Mundum of Bali and Ngyen Mbo, was `Baforchu`. However, a history document I read recently has it the other way round. The article which is entitled, `the Mankon Confederacy` is published in a booklet entitled “FOCUS OF NUKWI NU FO NDEFRU III: MANKON CULTURAL FESTIVAL 23rd- 31st December 1984”. It is authored by F.A. Ndenge and edited by Yalla Eballa and Emmanuel Aloangamo. According to the source, “On the whole the confereation was well protected and had a population of about 15 000 inhaitants; speaking practically one dialect and capable of tracing their origin to a common ancestor. Because of their military supremamcy the confederation was later joined by the Mbu group of families, namely: Mbu, Ba`,Mbei,Ngyenmbu and Fomudum of Bali.” So can anyone else state which version is authentic?

NATIONAL LANGUAGES, TRANSLATABILITY AND INTERFERENCE

NATIONAL LANGUAGES, TRANSLATABILITY AND INTERFERENCE By Tikum Mbah Azonga (Dedicated to Dr. Taboh Blasius, PhD Linguistics, University of Buea, for whom linguistics is not just a chosen field for work and research but actually an indisputable passion) ----------------------------------------------- Although languages are interrelated and interwoven, they are also confusing. Sometimes, instead of serving as a unifying factor, they can cause regrettable confusion. Consider the following illustration: In Ngamambo (Baforchu), one can say “Me bo`o bo! Ne em mbe afeke fungwang” which if translated literally, would mean, “Please, ¬give me with a little salt”. The question here is, what are we to give the speaker? The answer is that it is the salt. But then the request is framed such that the interlocutor may be tempted to think the speaker wants “me” and “salt”. The interferences here can be far reaching when a Mgamambo speaker finds himself or herself in a different linguistic setting where he or she mixes with speakers of other languages. I remember that when I went to boarding school at Sacred Heart College, Mankon, I once asked a classmate to lend me his pen by saying in English: “Please, can you give me with your pen?” With that misleading Ngamambo interference in my utterance, my mate was lost and I had to rephrase my request for easier understanding. Recently I encountered an even more intriguing situation at Three Corners Bambili. I was at a provision store when a girl came in and said to the vendor in Agyi Meblighi (the Bambili language): “Feghe magi cube ne bye gu” which when translated into English, would mean: “Give magi cube with you and me”. Obviously, although this utterance would make sense to a Bambili speaker, it would be senseless to someone from another linguistic culture such as the English-speaking world. From that perspective, we can see how much tolerance and forbearance we need to be able to communicate and cohabit with others.

THE CAMEROONIAN ECONOMY TEN YEARS AGO (Part 1 of 2)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga (This paper was first broadcast on Cameroon National Radio on the 3rd of April 2003. It was one of the commentaries I delivered on the 6.30 a.m. national and world news from 2003 to 2005) Whenever the National Financial and Monetary Committee meet, it is an event which economic operators and perhaps more so, international donors such as the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and the World Bank, look forward to. This is because the encounter leads to a reading of the economic balance sheet and projections are made for the future. One main revelation is that the economy is alive and kicking. Growth rate is positive, standing at 4 per cent although falling short of the projected 5.3 per cent. Inflation is better than expected, standing at 3 per cent, down from 4 per cent. Real term growth that had marked some key sectors in recent years has continued to firm up. These include telecommunications with a major innovation being the ever-rising number of telephone `call boxes` and mobile telephones in use. This trend is a welcomed transformation that first consisted of public telephone booths made available by the state and then vandalized and abandoned by users. Public transportation has also done well with more inter-city bus agencies taking their place on the market. In the townships, the cost of a drop which is 150 Francs has remained stable for over ten years. In the big towns like Douala and Yaounde, public bus companies and motor bike taxis popularly known as “Okadas” and “Bend skins” have greatly reduced traffic congestion. Agriculture has continued to be the backbone of the Cameroonian economy, although dependence on oil has also continued unabated. Cameroon`s balance of trade deficit was cut from CFA114.66bn in 2001 to CFA64.7bn to last year. The world situation was favourable, thus lending our economy a shot in the arm. For instance, the world economy grew at 2.8 per cent, better than the 2.2 per cent recorded two years ago. In the CEMAC region, GDP stood at 3.7 per cent, with projections for this year estimated at 4 per cent. Inflation is expected to stay at 3 per cent. Even so, it is hoped that once the Douala Stock Exchange goes fully operational, the situation will firm up further. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ FOR THE REST OF THIS STORY, Part 2 of 2, PLEASE FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-cameroonian-economy-ten-years-ago.html?showComment=1388257654497#c1984057915663582292

THE CAMEROONIAN ECONOMY TEN YEARS AGO (Part 2 of 2) Cameroon`s balance of trade deficit was cut from CFA114.66bn in 2001 to CFA64.7bn to last year. The world situation was favourable, thus lending our economy a shot in the arm. For instance, the world economy grew at 2.8 per cent, better than the 2.2 per cent recorded two years ago. In the CEMAC region, GDP stood at 3.7 per cent, with projections for this year estimated at 4 per cent. Inflation is expected to stay at 3 per cent. Even so, it is hoped that once the Douala Stock Exchange goes fully operational, the situation will firm up further. Nevertheless, it has not all been a bed of roses. The vexatious frequent power cuts by the National Electricity Corporation AES Sonel have exacted a toll on the economy and dampened the spirits of the Cameroonian user. For example, a ALUCAM which is an industrial giant has been able to function only at 30 per cent of its full capacity. Although some companies sought alternative sources of energy, not much has changed in terms of output. Cameroon Airlines saw its turnover fall by 8.3 per cent to 37.9bn as a result of stiff competition from competitors such as SN Brussels and Swiss International Airlines. The process of privatization is also slow, notably in the case of CAMTEL and SNEC. At the international level, the war in Iraq may affect Cameroon`s economy adversely, in terms of the quantity of foreign crude oil imported. The state should address these areas of concern in order to place the economy on a better footing. There is also an urgent need to consolidate some near-moribund initiatives such as the good governance and the fight against corruption. It must not be forgotten that turning the economy around needs sustained action.

THE PARADOX OF THE SOUTHERN CAMEROONS (Part 3 of 4) JUST WISHFUL THINKING?? Supporters of the Southern Cameroons thesis say they want the Southern Cameroons territory to be restored to its “rightful owners”. But who will do it? There is a saying that power is grabbed, not given. Besides, the United Nations does not up countries. But it can recognize a people who forcefully take up arms and fight their way to autonomy. That is not the case with our Southern Cameroons leaders. They have proved to be solid on three points: talk, talk and talk. They are like toothless dogs that bark but do not bite. UNEQUAL SHOW OF STRENGTH Even so, if the Southern Cameroons were to start a war, it is unlikely to win. Their claim, that it is they who are neighbours with Nigeria and not “La République” is flawed because if they think Nigeria would support them against “La République”, then they ought to think twice.. Nigeria has learned firsthand what the ravages of a civil war can be, after fighting and surviving their four decades ago. The other reason for Nigeria’s reluctance to enter a war against Yaounde is that just like Yaounde, Abuja has very strong ties with Paris. Today, French is the second official language in Nigeria, after English. Besides, French investment in Nigeria is very significant. The volume of trade between Nigeria and France is so heavy that it surpasses that with some traditional Francophone African countries. FRANCE IS BOTH HERE AND THERE For those who do not know it, France will not relent on its efforts to “capture” Nigeria and bring it into its fold. For one thing, Nigeria is an indisputable giant in Africa South of the Sahara. As such, the country can be a very strategic partner for France. Furthermore, straddled between Francophone countries to the east, west and north, France would very much want to use Nigeria as a stepping stone and a buffer state when it comes to its former territories with which it already enjoys good relations. It must be understood that as a nation, France is a sensitive country to which friendship is paramount. That is why today, Africa’s lone Spanish-speaking country, Equatorial Guinea, is virtually a Francophone country. It has joined the CFA franc zone and embraced the French language to the extent that the language is gaining more and more ground in that country. As a matter of fact, when this writer while in Malabo some years ago asked the Equato-Guinean Minister of State in Charge of External Relations whether Madrid was not offended by the growing ties with Paris, the minister was categorical. He replied: “To be honest with you, what we have gained from France in ten years, we never gained from Spain since independence. So if we had to choose between France and Spain, we would choose France.” BRITAIN? COUNT THEM OUT The SCNC will be making a monumental error if it thinks the British will support its separatist ambitions. British colonial policy was such that once they left a territory, they left with the little they had and never came back. It was as if on leaving they shook the dust off their feet and said: “God riddance”. That is why in Britain, when someone introduces himself as coming from Cameroon, the first reaction of the British person is: “So, you speak French?” That is because many of them are ignorant or simply do not care that their country once had ties with Cameroon. Also, unlike the French, the British are not good at wooing and keeping friends. That is why higher education is very expensive for foreign students in Britain. Yet many foreign students are from the so-called (poor) Third World countries which are known for their high rate of poverty. Britain charges the foreign student at least six times what the same student is charged in France. Some observers have even asserted that Britain is blatantly and callously milking foreign students dry in order to remain fat. BUILDING ON A POROUS FOUNDATION The problem is that the approach and strategy chosen by the SCNC are porous. Firstly, the SCNC has always been imbued with a confidence which although praiseworthy, is unfortunately not backed by any solid courage. The pressure group wants autonomy but is not prepared to stand the heat that comes with it. In fact, its approach reminds one of the legendary mice who agreed it was necessary to bell the cat so that whenever it was nearby, they would be warned by the ringing bell and then escape. The plan was hailed by all the mice present but when the key question was asked as to who exactly would bell the cat, no one was willing to do it. As a result the plan flopped for want of implementation. As such, the SCNC appears to be knowingly or unknowingly practicing the counterproductive strategy of the ostrich which when confronted by an adversary, buries its head in the sand and thinks it has hidden itself. THE EMPEROR`S NAKED CLOTHES The SCNC seems to be suffering from political inexperience. Some years ago, it dispatched some of its members to the United Nations Headquarters in New York. On their way back to Cameroon, they stopped over in London to brief their brethren in the United Kingdom. They triumphantly toasted victory. When asked concretely what they had achieved at the United Nations, they had nothing to show. Their only victory was the fact that they had been received and listened to by someone. But the United National headquarters is a public office where anyone can be received. A couple of years back, the SCNC boasted that it had taken its case to an international Dakar-based arbitration body. But then, apart from the fact that the body in question does not have the powers to enforce a decision on any country, it contented itself with advising the SCNC to create a political party and work from within it. Surely that was not what the SCNC had expected. Today, the pressure group (because that is what it really is) is more divided than ever before. It is in factions, splintered and maimed. THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY ///////////////////////////////////////// FOR PART 4 OF 4 , PS FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-paradox-of-scnc-part-4-of-4the.html

THE PARADOX OF THE SCNC (Part 4 of 4) THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY Leaders of the SCNC missed a golden opportunity about a decade ago when they failed to support Ni John Fru Ndi in his bid to become President of the Republic of Cameroon. If the grievances of the SCNC really and truly hinge on the fact of Anglophone marginalization, then one wonders why they did not threw in their weight behind the Anglophone Fru Ndi when he came into prominence and nearly beat incumbent Paul Biya to become President of Cameroon. That was some ten years ago, yet since Fru Ndi’s party, the SDF, came into prominence over a decade ago, it has remained the country’s unchallenged leading opposition party. So is it too late for the SCNC to come clean, swallow its pride and support the SDF Chairman, especially now that the SDF is still the only opposition party likely to topple Paul Biya? Well, it’s up to the SCNC. WANTING IN COMPASSION There is another point on which the SCNC has faltered, or at least not lived up to expectations. It is that of showing that although it is not yet in power, it cares for the people it claims to lead. When the Lake Nyos exploded in 1986 claiming human lives and property to a disturbing extent, the SCNC was mute. At least it did not step forward; it did not come centre-stage to offer relief. When the Mount Cameroon exploded, the SCNC was not seen leaping into action. Apart from loving the sound of its own voice, the SCNC has not spearheaded any help schemes for any segment of society. It has not offered any poverty relief schemes for the people such as housing, health care, education, rural development or poverty reduction. Although it claims that Bakassi is its own, it stepped aside and let Paul Biya do all the hard work that was involved in the territory being declared Cameroon’s by the International Court at The Hague. The SCNC must realize that in order to succeed it needs to match words with action, rhetoric with deeds. DIACHRONIC PERSPECTIVE OR SYNCHRONIC CUT? I have personally always been puzzled by the historical cut off point they SCNC has chosen. Why specifically the period of the Southern Cameroons? Why not the period when the French and English territories were one, under the Germans? Why not even the period when Anglophone Cameroon was governed as the semi-autonomous State of West Cameroon? The latter period is the one I personally knew and can remember today because it coincides with the time of my being born and growing up. So, I would not cast my vote for a distant Southern Cameroons which I know little about. I leave that to my parents and grand parents. That was their era, not mine. THE BOTTOM LINE Having said that, I believe there is an Anglophone problem in the country. But I also believe it can be solved through inclusion, not exclusion. The present era in Cameroon is ours; that is, that of my generation. Unlike our parents who schooled in Nigeria and to a lesser extent, Britain, we are the generation that aimed at entering the Federal Bilingual College and later on studied at the University of Yaounde. We studied alongside our francophone brothers and sisters. Today we work alongside them in the same offices and sit on the same committees at the National Assembly. We are increasingly speaking or at least understanding the other official language. Our children have taken the struggle even further. To understand the point, we only have to look at the number of French-speaking children who are flooding into the typically Anglo-Saxon schools throughout the national territory. They are quickly improving their English while their French remains in tact. SO WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? Honestly, when a team is not performing well, the coach has to reconsider his line-up. He may have to change his strategy. Whether the changes he makes are drastic and far-reaching or they are cosmetic and therefore mere window dressing, it is up to him. But At the end of the day, he will be held responsible for the result. At the end of the day, what we want is the greatest good of the greatest number.

MY GCE LOAF OF BREAD

This is a story that takes me back to when I was in Form 5 at Sacred Heart College, Mankon, and precisely at the time when the lower forms left us the Form 5s to write our GCE in peace. At the time the school did not have a High School section. One day when it was relaxation time and those who felt like going for sports could do so, I chose to sit on the continuous low wall that ran from the auditorium and was parallel to the chapel. I was alone and do not now remember what was going through my mind. Then I saw Bonaventure Joko who was in Form 4 walking towards me from the Assembly Ground area. He was carrying something wrapped in a paper. I did not think much about it. After all, I was neither expecting him nor even looking forward to anything whatsoever from him. As I watched, he matched straight at me, greeted me and handed me the parcel. He said, “Take this. It`s for you!” When I opened it, I realized it was a whole loaf of bread. “Thank you, Bonaventure”, I managed to say, totally overwhelmed. He did not stay for long. What surprised me so much was that although we knew each other at school, I did not think we knew each other so well that I would be a beneficiary of such a great gesture from him. But there it was! I took the bread to the dormitory and shared it with the classmates who were there. I think they were Emmanuel Ngwa who was House Captain and Class Prefect of Form 2A while I was Assistant House Captain and Class Prefect of Form 2B. Also present for a slice of the loaf of bread must have been Paul Njofang, Micahel Tandiba, Joeph Tibui (Joe Louis) and Charles Bongjoh. I may have forgotten some others. What has resuscitated this story is that after so many years, in fact, after thirty eight years, Bonaventure and I met in Limbe on Wednesday, Christmas Day, just two days ago. We were both guests at the residence of Dr. Donald Achidi Ngundam, founder of the erstwhile Donangu Pharmacy in Limbe and today, still a pharmacist and chairman of the Groupement des Pharmaciens Nationaux (GPN Sarl), as well as General Manager of the Cameroon University Housing Corporation (UHC/SA), with headquarters in Meyomessala Sub Division. Meyomessala is incidentally the Sub Division to which President Paul Biya`s village of birth, Mvomeka belongs. Dr. Ngundam`s lovely wife, Grace, made all of us the guests feel very much at home. In fact she served us graciously and gracefully. Bonaventure and I exchanged cards. He is today known as Bonaventure Wakam, President of the KHAM Inc. business valuation, sales, mergers and acquisitions firm based in Ventura, California. The name change is in comformity with a Sacred Heart practice by which students are made to take the names they were supposed to bear on a permanent basis. I changed mine from Robert Tikum Mbah Azonga to Tikum Mbah Azonga. Tandiba changed his from Michael Tandiba to Fombutu Michael while Bongjoh changed his from Charles Bongjoh to Bongjoh Charles Alessambom. My chance meeting with Bonaventure in Limbe gave me a unique opportunity to thank him once more for the gift that has now gone down in history as my GCE loaf of bread.

WHERE IS OUR Mr. SMITH OF LONDON?

WHERE IS Mr. SMITH OF LONDON? This personality was a force to be reckoned with in the Cameroonian community in Britain when our now defunct Cameroon Airlines, the national air traffic carrier at the time, was still in business. Mr. Smith was then in charge of the London agency of the company. That was not all. He was also beloved by the numerous Cameroonian travelers who used the airline. Usually passengers who traveled with considerable luggage would shy away from being checked in by the fares and ticketing staff ready and waiting at the counter. When asked to move forward and be attended to, they would instead move backwards and say, “No, I`m waiting for Mr. Smith to come”. I don`t know how Mr. Smith managed it but it appears he was always able to solve everyone`s problem such that when it was take off time, all were on board and flew away. So many years have passed and today Cameroon Airlines has been replaced by a new company, CamAir-Co. But where is our Mr. Smith today? I wonder. Does any Cameroonian currently in the United Kingdom know the answer?

TWO FIRST-TIME MAYORS

TWO FIRST-TIME MAYORS Among The Council mayors who were elected in the September 30 municipal elections are two first-time mayors worthy of special note. They are Francis Wache who is mayor of Nkor Council and Caroline Bongwa who is mayor of Bamenda I Council. Prior to his election as mayor, Wache was a lecturer at the Local Government Training School in Buea, headquarters of the South West Region, where he put in a total of 23 years. Behind all of that he had a keen interest in journalism and was actually one of the brains behind the highly successful but short-lived Cameroon Time magazine of some decades ago. Wache was co-presenter of the critical and incisive CRTV television programme, CRTV Club, of which Kenneth Asobo was in charge. However, the new mayor will be remembered most for his pioneering role in The Post, ongoing newspaper for which he was publisher and Executive Editor. Caroline Bih Bongwa has gone on record as the first female mayor to be installed in the cluster of the three councils: Bamenda I, Bamenda II and Bameda III. She is of course, mayor of Bamenda I. Running as a candidate for the ruling CPDM party, Bongwa has taken the Council from the opposition SDF team that was led by outgone Mayor Simon Acho. She has a rich track record as a High School administrator and a Regional Chief within the Regional Delegation for Women`s Empowerment and the Family. Over and above that, she is widely viewed as a person who is caring and willing to listen.

DISGRACE AT THE BAMBUI SEMINARY (Part 1 of 2)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga When I was a student in CCAST Bambili, Cardinal Christian Wiyghan Tumi (still a priest at the time) was rector of the St. Thomas Aquinas` Major Seminary (STAMS) in Bambui. One Sunday, Philip Kindong, my classmate in CCAST and nephew to the rector invited me for a visit to the seminary. OBLIVIOUS GUESTS OF THE FUTURE CARDINAL Our host accorded us a warm reception in his office and chatted with us for about an hour. When it was over, he gave each of us and envelope with a bank note in it. I noted that his nephew and I got exactly the same amount, with there being no discrimination or nepotism. That to me proved that the man was fair and just. After that, the rector called two senior students, handed us to them and bid us goodbye. A PRIEST IN HIS CASSOCK One of the two was Patrick Adeso whom I remembered very well because when we were in Form Five at Sacred Heart College, Mankon, our principal, the Rev. John Philips, invited him and another trainee priest to give us a talk about joining the priesthood. On the day they came for the talk and addressed us in the college auditorium, many of us wondered whether people who chose the priestly as opposed to a “normal” family with a wife and children running around, were really to say the truth, “normal”. Even so, a normal-looking Adeso assured us: “Life in the seminary is nothing. Everything is normal, just normal.” I remember that from that day on, the phrase, “everything is just normal” became a sing song on practically every lip at Sacred Heart College. Nonetheless, at the back of my mind, I knew that the priest-to-be must know what he was talking about. After all, before proceeding to the seminary, he had scored a brilliant performance in his `A` Level examinations. In fact, his results were one of the best in that year. WALK ABOUT AND LUNCH ------------------------------------------------------------------- FOR THE REST OF THIS STORY, PLEASE FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/disgrace-at-bambui-seminary-part-2-of-2.html?showComment=1387894442484#c2041188150832617576

ALL THAT GOSSIP ON FACEBOOK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga Did Zuckergerg`s sparrow squalk Or did it just grunt Like the old woman of Minnesota? Don`t ask Facebook Don`t even think about it Because even all the irresistible girls on Chat Cannot satisfy the appetite of Zucks. So whether you walk or stalk Wanton plans for clemency as an affront Will see no change from Claus to Santa Not even our pope will be left off the hook If you twitter, you asked for it If you facebook, you eat fat So why not just change your name to Lineks?

MANU DIBANGO CELEBRATES 80 YEARS Cameroon`s ace musician, Manu Dibango, turned 80 this 2013. In the picture here, he and President Paul Biya of Cameroon (Manu`s home country) exchange firm hand grips during the president`s visit to France earlier in the year.

THE TEACHER`S SOILED REGISTER

I was then in Class Six primary at St. Francis School, Bambili, popularly called “Ntsewi” and was taught by a newly arrived teacher called John Njende. The teacher immediately stood out above the rest by his handsomeness, his great love for volleyball and his general erudition. However, I am not unduly comparing him with the other teachers because obviously, he was the one I knew best, being my daily mentor. I was in Class 6B, the decision to partition the class, having been made more arbitrarily than by academic judgment. The teacher of Class 6A was Mr. Tanteh whose first name I do not remember now. My cousin Beatrice Fri Mbaku (today officially Mrs. Fri Bime and popularly ‘Ma Fri’) was in Class 6A. It would appear that one day Mr. Tanteh needed a red pen to do some work in his register. My sister knowing that I had both red and blue, came to our classroom to ask me for it. Unfortunately for her, I was out. Since she knew my school bag very well, she opened it and took out the red pen (or what she thought was the red pen) and gave it to Mr. Tanteh. Lo and behold, when the teacher wrote in his register with the “red” pen, it came out blue. He screamed at my sister and accused her of “spoiling” her register. Fortunately the problem was not traced back to me, perhaps because my sister did not want to expose her brother. The truth of the matter is that I had interchanged the covers of the two pens so that the red one was on the blue pen and the blue was on the red. This was to wrong foot those unceremonious classmates of mine who were fond of intruding in people`s bag and taking things out without permission and when not found out they eventually owned them. But today, that draconian measure backfired on my own poor sister. After school, when she told me what had happened, I felt so sorry for her! I apologized and from that day I reverted the pen covers to their original receptors.

THE FISH SHE DENIED ME

I stood guard on the spot I did so all day, all night You weren’t there, but I was there Out of fidelity Out of love I stood guard on the spot. I wasn’t pushed If anything, I jumped With no prompting, no probing I offered myself My life My all To you, all of me; all of it Leaving nothing behind Holding back nothing I didn’t want to rime with Ananias. I stood guard alone, all alone Everyone else left Vanished, vamoosed All, except me They who paid you lip service They who smiled before you And jeered behind you. I used my entire arsenal And borrowed what remained of my Dad’s Relics from his good old days as Mr. Marriott’s night watchman Spear, gun and baton From the sanctum sanctorum I did all of that For you Just for you. Yet when you emerged with the fish And before my starving eyes You called up the others, each by name And gave them useful parts of your fish Head, tail and even middle That coveted and succulent bottom And they munched it all before my very eyes Oh, how my mouth watered And my eyes bled And my feeble legs wobbled!

THE CONTRADICTIONS OF NEW YORK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga Have you ever been to New York? We’ve been there And I can tell you It’s lame, all lame Swollen Sullen Rotten Childish Pervert So far And just plain pointless. But then, it’s also Plush and game Linen Often Unselfish Covert Priceless So near And above all The Big Apple.

PULL HIM DOWN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga (For Prof. Francis Nyamnjoh) I picked up the pin The one that idiot dropped But told him nothing about the plucked fin For fear he might be propped.

SHAME ON YOU

By Tikum Mbah Azonga Frankly, aren’t you ashamed? You reverse your own name Sit on your own tail Suck your own eggs. Always, you knock at the wrong door Send the wrong flowers Kiss the wrong bride And pray to the wrong God. Yet from morning till evening You say you are a man of God. You? This you Or someone else?

A PLACE IN YAOUNDE CALLED MVAN

Whether we like it or not Mvan is a vast melting pot, Yes, a melting pot Not a vast building site. Here in Mvan All and sundry congregate We all come out and camp all night long However, if you live in a house without a gate Don’t come out, whatever is the case. By all means, stay indoors.

DON`T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH

By Tikum Mbah Azonga I didn’t ask you I just mused about it It was a mere wish Just a thought. You were in the loo The only place you deemed fit Because I know you to be so hollow So don’t think I’m your cheap cream.

THE NARROW ESCAPE

It twitched Like the guinea pig frog There was no need for a catalyst Because it wasn’t like that. Even so No one was bold enough to pick it up Let alone Touch it So, slowly, slowly, it moved; then crawled away.

DANCE, BROTHER, DANCE FOR ME

(Last request of a boy dying of AIDS) Dance little brother, dance Dance for me The down and out Dance for me to see Let me see before I die Dance your last dance for me Give me my last number Make it big and memorable So I can tell the tale to Dad. Dance, little brother, dig it Alas, the referee has blown me out I lie off the touchline Injured, fractured, hurt, humiliated, ashamed My limbs have given way They have let me down Is this me, Big Boy Moukoko? Why am I reduced to this? Yet, like a man, I must go I must bite the dust So, I wait for that moment ————————————————– FOOTNOTE This poem is taken from my book of poems (some in English and some in French) on HIV AIDS sensitization , which went on the book list of the Ministry of Secondary Education from this September 2013, from Form to the Upper 6th and in four Francophone classes.

THE LORD MAYOR`S DAUGHTER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga Where is the Lord Mayor`s beloved daughter? I saw her enter your bedroom, just after the election results So don`t start telling lies of all sorts Besides, why on earth are you quivering? Just because you think you are the lone drummer Do you expect us all to start spelling the word, `lust` with an `s`? And after that we bow and give thanks for the bed sports? What then shall we say to the landlady when she comes fuming?

FAT LIE ABOUT THE CHAIRMAN

(First published on my blog www.tmazonga.wordpress.com in August 2012) By Tikum Mbah Azonga Were you there? Or did you, as usual, make that up? That the Imam sent New Year wishes to the chairman. Since when? And what did his wife do about it? Do you really think it’s fair That you get a hiccup Each time someone mentions the name, `chairman`? Wait until the light of the risen Christ shines upon us.

THE BOOMERANG DEAL WE STRUCK

It is interesting that the coming into being of the cell phone business in Cameroon, more or less, coincided with the rough birth of multiparty politics in Cameroon, with all the hot feelings that it entailed. In the heat of the moment, many customers West of the Mungo overwhelmingly rejected Orange Cameroon (at the time called Mobilis) in favour of MTN Cameroon. The argument was that since Orange was a French company, it should be boycotted in retaliation for ‘what the French are doing to us by propping the Biya regime ’. Since MTN was South African and even Anglophone,it is easy to understand why they were the favourite service providers of the mobile phone to Cameroonians. So not surprisingly, most Anglophone Cameroonians are today customers of MTN, not Orange. Today,though,the balance sheet is mitigated, to say the least. MTN has largely become a big disappointment. The services it offers break down too often leading to frequent blackouts, credit transfers not reaching their beneficiaries and reception of calls being sub standard. It is an open secret that users curse MTN on a daily basis. On the other hand, Orange seems to be cruising on hitch-free.

ENTREPRENEUR YONG FRANCIS TOPS THE CHARTS

Yong Sports Academy (YOSA) based in Bamenda, regional headquarters of the North West, has won this year`s edition of the Cup of Cameroon Football championship. YOSA played a draw game with Canon of Yaounde after which it edged out Canon by two goals to nil in a penalty shootout. The match was played today in Yaounde in the presence of the President of the Republic, Paul Biya. This latest achievement is only one in a series that the promoter of YOSA, Yong Francis, has to his credit. He is currently one of the biggest promoters of private education in Cameroon. He started off with a typing institute in the 1970s , called `Progressive`. Later on he opened a secondary school, Progressive Comprehensive High School (PCHS) in Bamenda, which is the most populous and one of the most popular in the North West Region. He also runs a High School in Bambui and another in his native Bello Division. However, his biggest flagship is probably the National Polytechnic which has stood the test of time and is an unmistakable educational reference in the whole of Cameroon. Yong is equally a former First Division referee. Despite this long honors’ list, Yong still finds time to sit down and play the game of draughts with those with whom he has lived in Bamenda for decades. Maybe if Cameroon were another country, Yong Francis would have been honoured for the milestone he has achieved in the field of education. A university could have awarded him an honorary doctoral degree. Or is it so difficult for a prophet to be accepted in his own country?

THE MORNING HANGOVER

I woke up this morning with a hangover A real one and not the child’s play of last week I felt pains all over It wasn’t Mami Kah’s overnight, no It was the leftovers of the Fon’s residue It was ginger brown And bore all the hallmarks of our forefathers No adornments, no embellishments No, just them in their natural form Naked Plain Pure Untasted Undefiled Rustic Unrefined Virgin. That was it for a walkover But surely not only for the meek After all, did Simon not know of the Passover? We all crossed with no blow Everyone paying his or her due But very mindful of the Fon’s crown None of us was clad with feathers Because we each knew our commandments There was therefore no one to reform Even if some of us were half-baked Writhing in pain Of ourselves not very sure But certain of what we had wasted That’s why we were reviled Sarcastic Confined And suspicious of any virgin.

CAMEROON'S SHORT IRON LADY WITH THE HEAD SCARF

WHAT IS KAH WALLA UP TO? By Tikum Mbah Azonga (This piece was first published on my other blog www.tmazonga.wordpress.comin November 2011) THE WORLD AS AN OYSTER Usually, when a major football tournament such as the African Nations` Cup takes place, it attracts experts from the world over, some of whom come to enjoy themselves and some of whom come in search of new talent which they can ultimately promote on the international scene. That is how some of the world`s leading footballers such as Roger Milla, George Weah and Eto`o Fils stars have come to have their names written in the golden book of records. KAH WALLA AS A CASE STUDY Undoubtedly, this short, diminutive but highly charismatic leader of the CPP party, Walla Edith Kabang, better known simply as “Kah Walla”, is one of the most outstanding discoveries at the Cameroonian presidential election held on the 9th of October 2011. Although Walla joined the race late after having slammed the door on her former party, the SDF, just at the eleventh hour, she has shown that she is an incontestable force to be reckoned with on the Cameroonian political scene. Of the 23 candidates who finally ran for president, Kah came sixth, the first five being in descending order of performance, Paul Biya (CPDM), John Fru Ndi (SDF), Garga Haman Adji (ADD), Adamou Ndama Njoya (CDU), and Ayah Paul (PAP). Yet, unlike the other candidates named above, Kah Walla is a new comer; an absolute beginner. It is also significant that of the three women who put in their bid for president, Walla is the one who has come this far. The next female candidate, Dang Esther, came well down on the league table at eleventh position. It is worth noting that Kah beat political old timers such as Ekane who came 14th, Ngo Fritz (15th), Kamgang (18th), Nyamndi (21st) and Tabi (22). PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER The first implication is that her place is assured among the political big wigs of the country. Even so, she clearly towers over the other candidates in that she has greater mastery of French and English which are the official languages of Cameroon. Being young, she can easily identify with and attract young people. The other factor of being the woman with the best results on the league table clearly puts her in a class of her own. At home, she attracts sympathizers, which is why according to vote results of Cameroonians in the Diaspora; she won in more countries than the veteran Opposition leader John Fru Ndi. VICTIM OF HER OWN SUCCESS? The one million dollar question is what exactly Kah Walla can do to boost her political standing in the country. Now that she lost the presidential election, she has three choices: either she joins Paul Biya`s CPDM in forming a Government of National Unity, or she forms an alliance with some other opposition parties, or she goes solo. Whatever she decides to do is entirely up to her. However, were she to accept a ministerial post from Paul Biya, such a move would neither be suicidal nor detrimental, contrary to what some observers appear to believe. Instead, she could use the opportunity to show the world that her party is capable of running a ministry according to the aspirations of the Cameroonian people. Nonetheless, the onus is on her.

DIASPORAN CRITICS AND THE NEEDED CHANGE (Part 1 of 3) By Tikum Mbah Azonga (This piece was first posted on my other blog www.tmazonga.wordpress.com on the 25th of October 2011) Eric Njungwe wrote in CAMNETWORK: “International law recognizes the right of a people to have recourse to rebellion against dictatorship and oppression. If the people of Cameroon were to rise-up against the dictatorship of Paul Biya, it would be perfectly legal and be recognized by the international community as a legitimate act by an oppressed people to free themselves from tyranny”. BELOW IS MY REPLY TO ERIC AND OTHER LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE: 1. EMPTY TALK AND NOTHING ELSE That`s true. But the problem is that we have a lot of people who do very much talking and no action. Who will leave talk, rise up courageously and bell the cat? No one. We talk today as we did twenty five years ago and will do 25 years from now. 2. THE UNSONG HEROES Yet there are other Cameroonians on the ground, on the spot, in the field, doing it their own way. They may not satisfy us but at least they are there and doing something about it. That is why I feel Diasporan critics show render to Caesar what is Caesar`s by acknowledging the significant role of people like Fru Ndi and more recently, Ayah and Kah Walla. There is a saying that the man who says it can`t be done should not stop the man who is doing it. The rest of us have chosen to be absentee landlords. We have abdicated and ceded our rights. We are toothless dogs and dogs whose bark is not might, but fright.Yet someone once said: “Les absents ont toujours tort” (Absentees are always the wrong ones). 3. LACK OF UNITY FROM WITHIN ______________________________________________________________________ FOR PART 2 OF 3 OF THIS STORY, PS FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/diasporan-critics-and-needed-change_1981.html

DIASPORAN CRITICS AND THE NEEDED CHANGE (Part 2 of 3)

Strictly speaking, Cameroon does not need the over two hundred political parties and over fifty bidding for president of the Republic. Why did the opposition not unite and present a single candidate? They instead did so only later to sign a joint statement. From the moment they accepted to run, they should have known the decision of the Supreme Court was final. Now, what purpose will protests serve? 4. LACK OF UNITY FROM WITHOUT The Diaspora critics must ask themselves some tough questions: To what extent did they prepare the opposition for the change they want? Election campaigns cost a lot of money. You remember that from what Obama spent. How much of it did you send to the candidate of your choice? Did you take time out and come here to help? Did you campaign for them in your host country? Also, if you have taken foreign nationality which implies that at least for now, you are no longer a Cameroon, do still have a voice? 5. THE GAPING GAP OF THE DIASPORA The Diaspora is not impacting well here at home. There are a lot of concrete actions the Diaspora could take for the benefit of the country. Unfortunately, it has become obsessed with one man: Paul Biya. How many scholarships has the Diaspora offered young Cameroonians since the school year began? How many schools has the Diaspora built? How many potable water points has it provided? How many health facilities have they provided? When we had an outbreak of cholera, where were they? Why are they not investing heavily back at home? Property is a very lucrative domain in Cameroon. Whether you build for a family or a business, you will have tenants. So why not cash in on opportunities such as the newly created University of Bamenda and build houses for students and lecturers? In that way you make some money and help Cameronians with much needed low cost housing. The opportunities are limitless. _______________________________________________________________________________ FOR PART 3 OF 3 OF THIS STORY, PLEASE FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/diasporan-crtics-and-needed-change-part.html

DIASPORAN CRTICS AND THE NEEDED CHANGE (Part 3 of 3) Diaspora offered young Cameroonians since the school year began? How many schools has the Diaspora built? How many potable water points has it provided? How many health facilities have they provided? When we had an outbreak of cholera, where were they? Why are they not investing heavily back at home? Property is a very lucrative domain in Cameroon. Whether you build for a family or a business, you will have tenants. So why not cash in on opportunities such as the newly created University of Bamenda and build houses for students and lecturers? In that way you make some money and help Cameronians with much needed low cost housing. The opportunities are limitless. 6. TAKING AIM AT THE WRONG TARGET I talked about the obsession with the removal of Paul Biya? But Biya is only one Cameroonian. Street protests did not remove him in 1990-1992. So what has changed so dramatically that we think it will work this time. Political success needs patience and planning. The opposition should note that and start preparing for the next presidential election today. Seven years is a short period politically. Even Ni John Fru Ndi, the incontestable leader of the opposition will still be politically young enough to become president in 2018. But he must look forward and not backwards, and start preparing now. Cameroon is more important than Paul Biya. That`s why people come and go but the nation remains. 7. DO NOT COUNT ON THE WEST Some Cameroonians said hey were going to demonstrate in Washington. I do not know if they did it. But what would be the message to Americans who see a bunch of Black people, not even looking like their own, African American brothers, blocking their streets with placards on some distant president and country? Won`t your hosts simply turn round and wonder loudly: “Why on earth don`t they take it back to their own country and leave us in peace?” And concretely, what do you expect Obama to do? March into Yaounde with a big stick and beat Biya out of Etoudi? Since when? In other words, you are asking someone else to come and tidy up your own dirty backyard for you. 8. INTERNATIONAL OBSERVERS Diasporans have been quick to quote the American ambassador saying the election here was flawed. But the observers from the African Union, the Commonwelath, and La Francophonie, after making some observations, concluded that the results were acceptable. The UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon issued a statement of appreciation. We can`t ignore that. Besides, we have not seen any Western countries recalling their ambassadors as a sign of protest. Remember that when a couple of years ago, the American embassy staff quit their rented property and moved into the purpose-built embassy on the way to Mont Febe and the Etoudi Palace – just next to what is widely regarded as Paul Biya`s reirement home – the ambassador said this shift from renting to ownership indicated that ‘we are here to stay”. 9. THERE ARE NO PERFECT ELECTIONS Regular observers know that there is no such thing as a perfect election anywhere, even in the West, including America. An example is the September 2011 election held in Zambia. Observers preferred to conclude by using the expression: “Zambian Election Not Perfect But 100% Better”. This decision was reached even after some irregularities were noticed: “These were just some of the observations made by the Zimbabwe Electoral Support Network who were also invited to observe, and who concluded that Zambia had a number of good practices, but had to improve on fair and balanced coverage of all political parties in the media, lack of gender parity in Zambia’s electoral processes, and lack of a clear framework on political parties financing, so that smaller political parties are not disadvantaged.”

A POINT OR TWO FOR PARTY LEADER AYAH PAUL By Tikum Mbah Azonga ((This piece was first published on my blog on the 11th of October 2011) A few days ago, People`s Action Party (PAP) Leader Ayah Paul Abine published pictures of women demonstrating at the Cameroon Tea Estate (CTE) for nonpayment of dues. He also reported that the women`s demonstration had been broken up by local administrators. Ayah did well by bringing this “social injustice” to the attention of the world. However, he could have gone further. But he stopped short. By reporting the event, Ayah did the job of a journalist which is to “expose”. He did not do that of the politician which is to “correct”. Where Ayah erred is that as a politician and especially a presidential candidate who literally came from nowhere to find himself so high up on the league table of presidential candidates, he should have exploited the incident of the striking women to his own advantage. Instead of just reporting, the former parliamentarian could have acted by either personally marching up to the regional governor`s office and asking him some tough questions, or driving to Yaounde to demand an explanation from the minister in charge. If he did that then he would have been parading a solution to the public, not the problem. Right now, Ayah has tremendous power and political clout which he does not seem to realize. So from that view point, he is like the proverbial man who earned five thousand francs a day but lived poorly on only five hundred francs. Ayah after all did comparatively well in the presidential election. In fact, after Paul Biya with a 77.9 score; Ni John Fru Ndi coming second with 10.7; Garga Haman Adji coming third with 3.2, it is Ayah who followed with 1.2 per cent. Ayah is to be commended because unlike the other candidates, he is a first time comer to the presidential race. From that perspective, Walla Edith Kabang (popularly known as ‘Ka Walla’) another new comer and the woman with the best score at the election, deserves some praise for coming closely behind Ayah at number 6th place with 0.71 per cent of the votes. Henceforth, Ayah must learn that in order to grow stronger in politics and be able to stand the test of time, he should seek to show what he can do for the people rather than just show that he can demonstrate that his adversary is ruling poorly.

ONE THING I ASK OF GOD

By Tikum Mbah Azonga Dear God Today, send forth thine annointed angel Send him down with the olive balm So that tonight, holding up the black and white label May I chant the ringing mantra “This is the cod! And that is the sod!”

HOW ONE MAN ANNOUNCED HIS PRIESTHOOD

There was once a man whose father died early and his mum single-handed had to fend for him and his siblings. He was the first born and so often, he gave his mother a helping hand. He grew to be very fond of her. He was also very moved by her suffering and once in a while, they would cry together. Somewhere along the line, he started developing the idea that since they were both very religious, he could join the priesthood and say mass for his mother and even departed father. He also developed admiration for the local priest who was like a family member of theirs. As time went on, the boy admired the priest more and more. One day he gathered courage, went up to him and told him he too would like to be a priest. The priest was happy and from that day he started grooming the boy. Nonetheless, when he applied for priesthood, he did not tell his mother; for fear that she might take it badly. It was only when he was given a letter at school indicating that he had been admitted at the Minor Seminary that he now decided to tell his mother about his priesthood dream. Even so, he did not know how to put it to her. That day, when he returned from school he stood in the yard and called out to his mother: “Mother, are you there?” “Yes, I am, son” Then he went nearer to the door. Standing in the doorway, he told his mother: “Mother, I have something very important to tell you but I want to stand right here and say it” “Won’t you come in first, son?” “No; mother. I will stand here. I will stand here and say it. But if you don’ like what I say, I will go away and you’ll never see me again” “Is it that bad, then, my son?” “No, mother. It’s not bad. It’s good. It’s very good. In fact I like it very much. That’s what I want to do.” “Mother, I want to be a priest!” At that point, the boy’s heart beat faster and he had to hold his breath because he felt like he was going to faint. His mother ran towards him and hugged him. Both of them were crying with nobody being able to say anything. After some time, the mother stopped crying, wiped her tears and declared: “Oh God, thank you for this!” Turning to her son, she said: “Son, this is the best thing you have ever told me. From when you were very young, I prayed that you should one day become a priest. God has answered my prayers! That is what I always wanted you to do” ________________________________________________________ FOOTNOTE This account is adapted from a true story recounted to Daddy Christ at Foundation Radio, FM 100, The Voice of the Voiceless, Mile 6, Mankon, Bamenda.

THE LOUD SILENCE OF MY LORD

THE LOUD SILENCE OF MY LORD Language is indeed is dynamic. It changes. Aspects of it come and go. A case in point is the expression “My Lord”, which some persons in society used to throw around when in conversation. This is something that happened up to about four or five years ago. I heard it mainly in Yaoune and if I remember correctly, it was very much in use in the Sacred Heart College ex-students community. I can particularly remember Shesans such as George Atanga, boss of the Yaounde-based Building Construction Company, TANO; Cornelius Ngang Awasom, also Yaounde-based; and Samuel Nji Ngang (alias Slim) who is CEO of Plasticam in Douala employing the expression repeatedly. A typical ‘My Lord’ conversation would go this way, when two people met: “Hey, My Lord! Long time! Where have you been My Lord?” “Wao, My Lord. It’s been long in deed. Good to see you again My Lord!” “So, when did you come to town, My Lord?” “Oh, My Lord, I just arrived today My Lord” “So My Lord, are you ‘spoiling’ me or am I ‘spoiling’ you?” That is a coded allusion to sitting someone down and giving him a beer. “Oh, you know My Lord; ‘spoiling’ can go either way. But I’ll ‘spoil’ you first since you’re in my territory.”

THE LANGUAGE OF ANGLOPHONE MINISTERS

Although this is a rather stupid-sounding question to ask, it is nevertheless worth the asking because at its very worse, it can tickle the brain. The question is, what language do Anglophone ministers usually use when officiating – considering clearly that they have a choice between English (which is technically their first of the two official languages) and French which is the other official language. Despite the (obvious) logic involved, Anglophone ministers, even those whose French is bad prefer to use French. They do this when speaking to public service users, they do it when opening conferences and seminars; but they do it especially when signing official texts that are meant for consumption either as internal memos or public announcements. Apparently, they do not seem to realize that such a muzzled use of language can lead to blurred utterances which end up by creating more problems for their audience than they bring solutions. Recently in one of the ministerial departments in Yaounde, I noticed that of all the seven notices that were on display on the notice board, all were in French and none in English, although the minister in charge was Anglophone. On the other hand, I did not see any Francophone minister’s notice board that was dominated by notices in English. Although the argument can be put up that since Cameroon is bilingual as it uses two official languages, there is therefore nothing wrong with any minister using only one language. Inasmuch as that is acceptable, we should also point out that if the said ministers alternated the use of the two languages in order to give each one and its speakers a fair chance, the entire community would be served more judiciously. One could also affirm that if Francophone ministers were using the English language with the same zeal as their Anglophone counterparts used French, then there could be some linguistic balance in that domain. However, the sad fact is that not only do Francophone ministers generally use only French as their language of communication; it is very rare for any of them to use English, especially when writing. Even so, in all fairness, Francophone ministers make a commendable effort when it comes to answering journalists’ questions, because in the majority of cases, when questioned in English, they answer in English. Perhaps one reason why Anglophone cabinet ministers stick so much to the use of French is that they want to show off their knowledge of the language. But then they really should spare a thought for the many Anglophones who find French difficult to understand. Maybe a way out could be to deliver part of a speech in one official language and the other half in the other official language. Jean Marie Atangana Mebara who is today in jail for his alleged part in the embezzlement of government funds while in office as minister used to make it a point to speak in both languages when presiding over a ceremony. In that way, he made members of both linguistic communities to feel at home. It is interesting that the President of the Republic, Paul Biya, is one person who sticks unduly to the use of French in his official pronouncements. For a leader who addresses the nation twice a year – on National Youth Day on 11 February and the 31st of December to mark the New Year – Paul Biya has surely not covered himself in glory by capitalizing on French and using English so sparingly, which is when he is addressing a predominantly Anglophone group such as in one of the two Anglophone regions or in an Anglophone country abroad. However, from today he could redeem himself by speaking one official language during his nationwide address of December 31and then using the other official language on the 11th of February. Such a move could be the catalyst his ministers need to switch linguistic tactics.

MY BAPTISM OF FIRE FROM DESERT BIRDS (For M.L. Reed in the USA who reads my Facebook poems and told me rrecently that he had just bought my collection of peoms entitled THE COWRIE NECKLACE, published by Langaa and available in good bookshops throughout the world and online) It was a long, hot day And all alone I had been trailing the last unmanned camels But it was more hit and miss and hide and seek I wasn't myself Because I had just lost my lovely red rose So imagine my surprise when Dehydrated, parched, drained and amorphous I at last spotted a pool. From nowhere whatsoever, I was seized by unspeakable and indescribable energy The kind that enables a mother to topple a heavy truck And free her trodden child from danger. So I rushed to this timely standing and waiting pool Ready for a drink When I got nearer, I decided I needed a bath instead, a cold bath So I threw my whole being into it But lo and behold it was sand Raw, crude, uncouth, harsh,hot and burning sand Oh, how I hurt myself! As I lay there, a swarm of birds flew up and hovered above my head Some mocked me and made rude gestures with those wooden beaks of theirs Others provoked me and said, "Rise and come if you're a man!" Some even deliberately dropped faeces on me Steaming hot excreta on my head, on my shoulders, on my back, on my laps Just those parts my spouse likes to touch. Then all of a sudden they all swung round As if directed by a choir master And started chirping away at a song All of them, singing in perfect harmony! I couldn't understand their language But I clearly heard "kok!kok!kok!" Then they swung round again, this time looking north One of them, the only one with a beard flew forward, halted in the air, Looked down at me in the hot sand And then opened its beak and down came a folded piece of paper that landed on my neck It read " You denied us water yesterday. Today we also deny you wanter." After I finisged reading the provocative message, I looked up to ask them one or two questions But they were gone Gone to the last man, if at all they were men And I was left with my legion of questions Stuck in my poor mouth. Come to think about it They claimed I denied them water Me? When? How?

THE PAUL BIYA MUST GO CAMPAIGN (Part 1 of 2)

THE PAUL BIYA MUST GO CAMPAIGN (This article is a personal reflection I inially posted on my www.tmazonga.wordpress.com blog on 18 September 2011) PREAMBLE One of the greatest positive changes Cameroon has known since I returned home to Cameroon ten years ago after about twenty years in the Diaspora, is freedom of expression, including media expression. Add to all of that, the plethora of newspapers, radio stations and television channels that we now enjoy in the country and you will agree with me that not only has Cameroon changed, it has been revolutionized. When I worked as a journalist for the then London-based WEST AFRICA magazine in the 1980s, there were only two foreign weekly magazines that came to Cameroon: WEST AFRICA (which died just before 1990 having been in publication since 1917) and JEUNE AFRIQUE (today called JEUNE AFRIQUE L’INTELLIGENT) which was and is still published in Paris. The number of newspapers published within Cameroon was not more than ten. Even if the number exceeded ten, publication was irregular. At the time, press censorship was common. Sometimes entire copies of an issue of the magazine were seized by the forces of law and order because it was deemed that some aspects of a published story were unfair to the government. Sometimes we the writers of such articles were wanted. However, I must also say that at times when investigations were carried out after seizures; it was found that the said articles were not really a problem. The problem was with those charged with going through incoming news publications and reporting any irregularities: they did not quite understand the English language in which the stories were written. But all of that has changed today and anyone who last visited Cameroon at that time will simply not recognize the country’s expanded landscape as it stands today. That is why I get uneasy when colleagues take MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS Today, while browsing on the internet, I found an article entitled : « Cameroun : Paul Biya réélu à la tête de son parti le RDPC », (Paul Biya re-elected at the helm of his party, the ... ________________________________________________________________________________ FOR THE REST OF THIS STORY, PS CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW THAT LEADS YOU TO THE APPROPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-paul-biya-must-go-campaign-part-2.html?showComment=1387393779483#c8526254701904278003

THE PAUL BIYA MUST GO CAMPAIGN (Part 2 of 2)

THE PAUL BIYA MUST GO CAMPAIGN (Part 2 of 2) MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS Today, while browsing on the internet, I found an article entitled : « Cameroun : Paul Biya réélu à la tête de son parti le RDPC », (Paul Biya re-elected at the helm of his party, the CPDM) published yesterday 17th September 2011, the day the two-day CPDM Ordinary Congress ended. This article was published by the online news magazine, EN 24 HEURES. On the same page as the article was a Google advert that screamed: “Non à 30 ans de dictature de Paul Biya. IL doit partir! »No to 30 years of Paul Biya dictatorship. He must go!) Both the article and the advert can be reached through the link : http://actu-afrique.en24heures.com/cameroun-paul-biya-reelu-a-la-tete-de-son-parti-le-rdpc. MY RIGHT TO REPLY I used the “response” book to send the following reaction: “Vous affirmez ceci: “Il doit partir!”.Cela vous suffit-il, vraiment? Pourquoi doit-il partir? Où doit-il partir? Comment doit-il partir? Quand doit-il partir? Qui doit décider de son départ? Qui doit réaliser son départ? Et à la fin du compte, s’il ne part pas, que comptez-vous faire? Démissionner? Vous excuser? Vous exiler? Ou vous suicider? (You say: « He must go!”. Is that enough to you, really? Why must he go? Where must he go? How must he go? When must he go? Who has to decide on his departure? Who has to make his departure happen? Who replaces him? Who chooses the replacer? Where must he come from? What languages must he speak? Or should it be a woman? Which one? And in the final analysis, what happens if Biya does not go? What will you do? Resign? Apologize? Go on self exile? Commit suicide? WHY THIS LINE OF ACTION I am a Cameroonian and proud to be one. I strongly believe that while we want change, change for the sake of change is not good enough. We must know where we are, where we are coming from and where we are going. That’s why I would like to have answers to the above questions. Change, especially change at the summit of a nation is a very delicate operation. It is better to reflect for long and act swiftly than act swiftly and not last long. THE END

LETTER FROM TANGIE SUH-NFOR

INTRODUCTION How time flies! Below is a `Letter to the Editor` of the then WEST AFRICA magazine, located at 43-45 Coldharbour Lane, Stockwell, in London. This letter was published in the issue of the magazine dated 26 July-1 August 1993, ten years ago! It was written by one of the publication`s regular readers, the Cameroonian educationist Tangyie Suh-Nfor, at the time a student in Leeds, United Kingdom. Here is the letter in its entirety. ___________________________________________________________________________ BAMENDA `CHOP` FIRE "I read with great interest Tikum Mbah Azonga`a profound article, `The Bamenda factor`, in WEST AFRICA of July 12 1993. It reminds me of one the many songs which characterized entrances and exits during SDF rallies, entitled “Bamenda chop fire”. It is an English précis of the image of “the Bamenda man” evoked in Tikum`s analysis. An important element on which I would perhaps have liked greater emphasis is the caliber of people at the forefront of the Bamenda notoriety - the ordinary men and women, drawing inspiration from rtheir humanity , rather than the pomposity of the so-called elite. Witness for example the role of the Takumbeng (a women`s secret society) which humbled overzealous policemen and gendarmes during those rally days. Most striking in Tikum`s article, however, is the attention drawn to the paradox in Dr. Biya`s image in the eyes of Bamenda people. I wish I were convinced that he genuinely realizes this swing from love to burning hate. There is no doubt that “the Bamenda fire will soon reveal which meat has fat”. God bless Cameroon!" Leeds, July 1993

SAY SOMETHING, Mr. MINISTER (Part 1 of 2)

SAY SOMETHING, Mr. MINISTER (Part 1 of 2) Cameroon’s water and energy sector is in poor shape. This is not to say that other sectors of the country are in robust health. The point is that water and energy are highlighted because they are basic amenities for everyday use. So if they are in short supply, there is a serious problem that has to be dealt with or at least seen to be dealt with. Understandably, one understands that there is a twist in the knife when it is considered that the problem of water and electricity supply in Cameroon of today has escalated by geometric progression. So, only too frequently users are deprived of supplies continuously for days. When such protracted cuts subside and there is some steady flow, it is short-lived because soon, consumers are rocked yet again by intermittent interruptions. So, it is like some vicious cycle. In the midst of all this, one wonders what the minister of water resources and energy is doing about it. Obviously, sitting in his office and signing papers and being addressed as “Excellence” and “Monsieur le Ministre” as our ministers are used to doing. However if there is any minister who at this point in time needs to be up and about, visible, vocal, concerned, appealing, soothing and comforting because of the far reaching damage that his sector of activity done to Cameroonians – mainly without any compensation – it should be this minister. The current holder of the portfolio is Dr. Basile Kouna Atangana, who prior to his appointment was General Manager of Cameroon’s leading Water State Corporation. So, logically, one would think that coming from such a relevant background, he should know better. Wrong, because he is not much seen or heard. At least, not often enough. Even so, this is hardly surprising because the name plaque on the second main ministerial building of his ministry in Yaounde carries a grammatical error that anyone who reads it cannot help wondering why it was not detected and corrected from Day One. The piece of writing reads: “Ministry of ‘Waterresources’ (spelt as one word) ‘andenergy’ (also spelt as one word)”. Yet it is all written in bold capital letters. There is a lot that the minister can do – if he wants to - so that the people are assured that not only does he knowS their plight, but he sympathizes with them. ______________________________________________________________________________ FOR PART 2 AND FINAL PART OF THIS STORY, PLEASE, FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW TO THE APPRPRIATE PAGE OF MY BLOG http://tmazonga.blogspot.com/2013/12/say-something-mr-minister-part-2-of-2.html?showComment=1387309498265#c6688883963058207010

IS THE MINISTER READY FOR THIS,

TELL US THEN, Mr. MINISTER Cameroon’s Minister for the Environment and Nature Protection, Héllé Pierre, has issued repeated warnings to the entire nation, to the effect that plastic bags will no longer be allowed for use from March 2014. The reason for this is that such bags create a serious health hazard which can only be successfully tackled if plastic bags are totally out of circulation. Surely, the idea behind this draconian measure is commendable. Nonetheless, we have major concerns as to how the minister will implement this new policy, especially considering that we are only three months to the month of March 2014. Here are our worries in point form. 1. Is the minister sure that he will have sensitized the entire nation by the deadline? Right now no sensitization seems to be going on in the country. 2. Does he realize that the use of plastic bags has become so engrained in our society that it would take mighty bulldozers on his part for attitudes to be changed? 3. Will sellers and buyers of plastic bags be compensated for the bags that they must now forfeit? If so, how will the compensation be calculated? And will they agree to the terms? 4. The minister wants to take plastic bags out of circulation. But what will replace them? 5. Does the minister have the appropriate budget to implement such a wide-ranging policy? AN ASIDE We recall that when Bello Bouba Maigari was Transport Minister he got up one day and announced to the nation that night public transportation of intercity passengers was being stopped. Surprisingly, shortly after, the ban was lifted. While some observers explain that the decision to unban came from above, others hold that there were no orders from above, the idea being that the minister banned and unbanned in order to talk with economic operators in the sector. Is this likely to be the case with the Minister for the Environment and Nature Protection, come March 2014? So, tell us, Mr. Minister.

NI JOHN FRU NDI AND ALBERT CHO NGAFOR

Ni John Fru Ndi, is of course, the chairman of Cameroon’s leading opposition party, the Social Democratic Front (SDF), and Mr Albert Cho Ngafor was the self-made man who became an icon in the provision of bilingual private education in the North West of Cameroon. Both are from the Baforchu family of villages which include Mbu, Santa Mbei, Baforkum, Baba II, Ndzah and Ngyen Mbo. After the introduction of multiparty politics in the country, the chairman maintained the SDF party which he had been very instrumental in founding, while Mr. Ngafor stayed with the CPDM. As we know, in the early days of multiparty politics, there was a lot of tension between the two parties and its members. Even so, Ni John Fru Ndi and Mr. Albert Cho Ngafor did not allow party differences to spoil their ties. It was within that context that the story I am about to tell about the two men happened. The chairman lost his father and faithful to the brotherly tradition linking the former with Mr. Ngafor, the latter went to condole with the chairman. This was recounted to me afterwards by Mr. Ngafor. When he arrived at the graveside, he found the chairman busy with a spade. When the chairman saw him coming towards him with the spade, he held out his hand for him to see and said: “Sorry, Mr. Director, my hands are soiled.” In reply, Mr Ngafor also stretched out his hand and said: “Sorry, Mr Chairman, mine are about to be soiled.” As Mr Ngafor said so, he shook hands with the chairman, collected the spade and continued the work the chairman had been doing. When I heard the story I said to myself: “ What political maturity!”

THE OTHER UNIVERSITY CALLED UB

THE OTHER UB Our cherished University of Buea is popularly known as U.B. However, recently, I learned that there is another world university also called U.B. It is the University of Botswana.

THE BREWING CONFLICT IN UKRAINE

The Republic of Ukraine is currently walking a tightrope. It is faced with the dilemma of whether to join Europe or to re-embrace its neighbour, Russia with whom it was once members of the Soviet Union. It is a tough decision to make. In fact, the conflict has become a tug of war between the Ukranian President who wants to tilt his country towards Russia and his opponents who want Ukraine to be part of Europe. Unfortunately, the stakes are high on either side. However, I strongly believe that Ukraine should be part of Europe but still maintain strong ties with Russia. In that way, Kieve could have the best of both worlds, benefitting from the two Great powers. That to me, is the best way of seeking a peaceful solution to the conflict.